so the title of this blog has its origins in a debate i had recently with a friend...
it went something like this:
friend: [angry] what the fuck is with these advertising douches still using pictures of sexy women to sell products? have you seen that kfc commercial for a fucking milkshake where they splash the ice all over that chick's naked belly? how does that even begin to fit into the context of the ad? its aimed at kids!
me: uh, sure. yeah. bad ad.
friend: you don't sound very certain. why don't you sound very certain?! huh?!
me: well, i quite like looking at pictures of sexy girls.
friend: WHAT!?
me: jesus, it doesn't mean i'm gonna buy the bloody milkshake, ok?
friend: but that's an anti-feminist sentiment!
me: if you say so.
friend: [long pause for thought] i don't understand. you're a lesbian.
me: umm...i know?
friend: you HAVE to be a feminist!
and there, boys and girls, we have the problem. why is it that 'lesbian' and 'feminist' are seen as synonymous terms? sure, there's a precedent. some of the central thinkers of the feminist movement were card-carrying lady-lovers: adrienne rich, rita mae brown, sheila jeffreys, the list goes on. they called themselves womyn to break with the patriarchal linguistic subordination of the past. that way wo'men' no longer had 'men' inside it. and neither did they. get it? yikes.
anyway, i guess the basic argument for the lesbian feminist (or feminist lesbian) runs along the following lines: feminists believe in female empowerment. if they believe in female empowerment, they can't believe in male empowerment. if they don't believe in male power they must not like men. lesbians fuck women. this means they don't fuck men. if they won't have sex with men, they must not like them. thus, feminists are lesbians and vice a versa.
this is absolute crap, if you haven't picked that up already. i don't think modern feminists or even modern lesbians particularly dislike men. to use the old cliche, some of my best friends are men. i quite enjoy them, in the right environment and suitably restrained. i enjoy women too, though, and that's where i differ from the passionately feminist friend cited above. i think girls are sexy. when i see an outrageously hot model on TV trying to pimp my wardrobe or sell me insurance, i listen. i might even buy the insurance. does that make me less than rigidly feminist? probably.
i guess my conclusion is that no, i don't consider myself a feminist in the traditional sense. girls have every right to equality in the workplace, financial security and freedom of career choice. great! i can enjoy those advantages too. however, i also enjoy treating women as sex objects and frankly, if i don't abuse that position, where is the harm in that?
Hello, since i am your first official follower i shall leave a comment. but i have to say that i find the internet a difficult medium for communicating, so there's no guarantee that i'l sound at all intelligent.
ReplyDeleteso i wanted to say that i support your approach to the feminist issue. i also enjoy the way you've phrased it. for the most part i try to avoid discussions on feminism simply because i seem to have a hard time getting people to understand that there may be other options outside of the 2 they can think of. same goes for gender and sexuality issues, since trying to explain is usually far more effort than it's worth and most often ends up with people giving me infuriating looks as though i am a small child making up stories. more so since i cant exactly define it myself. im no lesbian but im certainly not 'straight' either, and bi is a nice enough blanket term but its not quite right. i don't feel part of either gender enough to fit in with the groups offered. so
yeah. i tend to avoid all that kind of defining and live quietly in my mixed up bubble.
that tapered off somewhat
oh internet introduction,taking too long and being too random.
ok Anna, looking forward to more of your posts.
why thank you. thanks for being more articulate than you think you are, and for being my first official follower. i love people who undercredit themselves, and i certainly like the sound of your mixed-up bubble. that just about sums up my life.
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