Enlightened objectification

a thought: "sex is not the answer. sex is the question. yes is the answer"

and in the spirit of that, here is my little attempt to put my finger on the question (no humurous gay innuendo intended). what is sexy? we all instinctively know. i definitely feel as if i do. sexy is yesterday's eyeliner, fucked-up bed hair, late night conversation, latte foam on an upper lip and a sense of humour. its 14 eyelet dr. martens, kissing with tongue and freckles in all the right places. some people have it and some people just ain't ever gonna get it.
i watched this bbc documentary the other night- forgive me, i was procrastinating, hungover and living a 3 in the morning life- about the nature of sexual attraction. apparently it is mostly hormonal. we smell pheromones that makes us hot and then jump them as fast as possible. we see legs that we want to pass on to our children and then wrap ourselves around them.
the assumption inherent in this suggestion, however, is that sexiness is a predisposed characteristic of superior genetics. it all comes back to making babies, people!

is it that simple? i highly doubt it for two reasons.
1. very few people today actively attempt to reproduce with someone they find sexy after an initial meeting. there are exceptions, but not many.
and 2. i dig chicks and i sure as hell can't make babies with them, no matter how hard i try.

i don't claim to know the real answer. i just thought i'd add to the question...
just for the hell of it, here are my ten sexiest individuals alive. feel free to disagree. that's what its all about in the end.

1. my girlfriend.
2. actress kate moennig ( it may be cliche, but that doesn't make it any less true.)


3. mtv vj. ruby rose
3. clicks frontman lucas silveira (hot as a girl, somehow hotter now he's a boy)
















4. actress deak evgenikos




























5. model amanda moore



























6. actress kristen stewart






























7. hunter valentine frontwoman kiyomi mccloskey
































8. french tattoo artist and suicide girl dwam
















9. model tasha tilberg














10. musicians tegan and sara

and there you have it.

you don't have to be anti-man to be pro-woman. ~jane galvin lewis

so the title of this blog has its origins in a debate i had recently with a friend...

it went something like this:

friend: [angry] what the fuck is with these advertising douches still using pictures of sexy women to sell products? have you seen that kfc commercial for a fucking milkshake where they splash the ice all over that chick's naked belly? how does that even begin to fit into the context of the ad? its aimed at kids!

me: uh, sure. yeah. bad ad.

friend: you don't sound very certain. why don't you sound very certain?! huh?!

me: well, i quite like looking at pictures of sexy girls.

friend: WHAT!?

me: jesus, it doesn't mean i'm gonna buy the bloody milkshake, ok?

friend: but that's an anti-feminist sentiment!

me: if you say so.

friend: [long pause for thought] i don't understand. you're a lesbian.

me: umm...i know?

friend: you HAVE to be a feminist!

and there, boys and girls, we have the problem. why is it that 'lesbian' and 'feminist' are seen as synonymous terms? sure, there's a precedent. some of the central thinkers of the feminist movement were card-carrying lady-lovers: adrienne rich, rita mae brown, sheila jeffreys, the list goes on. they called themselves womyn to break with the patriarchal linguistic subordination of the past. that way wo'men' no longer had 'men' inside it. and neither did they. get it? yikes.

anyway, i guess the basic argument for the lesbian feminist (or feminist lesbian) runs along the following lines: feminists believe in female empowerment. if they believe in female empowerment, they can't believe in male empowerment. if they don't believe in male power they must not like men. lesbians fuck women. this means they don't fuck men. if they won't have sex with men, they must not like them. thus, feminists are lesbians and vice a versa.

this is absolute crap, if you haven't picked that up already. i don't think modern feminists or even modern lesbians particularly dislike men. to use the old cliche, some of my best friends are men. i quite enjoy them, in the right environment and suitably restrained. i enjoy women too, though, and that's where i differ from the passionately feminist friend cited above. i think girls are sexy. when i see an outrageously hot model on TV trying to pimp my wardrobe or sell me insurance, i listen. i might even buy the insurance. does that make me less than rigidly feminist? probably.

i guess my conclusion is that no, i don't consider myself a feminist in the traditional sense. girls have every right to equality in the workplace, financial security and freedom of career choice. great! i can enjoy those advantages too. however, i also enjoy treating women as sex objects and frankly, if i don't abuse that position, where is the harm in that?

io tillett wright

this girl has become my latest obsession. she's a photographer based in new york, taking pictures of quite literally everything she sees. i can't put my finger on quite what it is i like about her. i guess i like that she shoots film exclusively, and there is an unselfconscious honesty in her work often submerged in fine art photography. she photographs her friends, her lovers and her life as if they were stills in an ever-changing silent film. undoubtedly it has been done before, perhaps done better. nan goldin did it, but wright lacks her dark outlook and bitter cynicism. mcginley did it, and some of his decadance does indeed crop up in her oeuvre. despite this, she is entirely her own artist.

its refreshing.

check out her website www.darlingdays.com

sex is like art. most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.

i've never blogged. i'm not a techno-phobe, i just think it is by nature inclined to be narcissistic, self-indulgent, time-consuming and a little juvenile. as a forum, it assumes that a number of people in the world are prepared to give a damn about one's opinions. don't get me wrong, i'm definitely opinionated. its just that up until now, i felt like the best way to voice a worldview is face-to-face. passion is so often watered down over the internet.

call me a hypocrite then.
call this an exercise in self-indulgence.
it is what it is.

whatever.